Yesterday, as I sat at the restaurant waiting for dinner with my mind caught in a web of terrible emotions, I had this feeling that there’s a lid on top of my head and it had popped open. I almost experienced madness, that’s lurking just around, may be within a hairbreadth of distance. I don’t know who to thank for, being here, keying this, sane.
Talking doesn’t really solve anything. It just complicates matters. “Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself…” says Nietzsche. How true. But people don’t understand. How degenerating it is to spend a lifetime justifying one’s words and deeds without even bothers to spend a second to understand the other. “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” With that, Atticus Finch pronounced one of the most compassionate lines I’ve ever read. I’m tired of phoney people. I’m also tired of people who says that; “you are a better human being than I am.” I heard it in the past too, and I know what they mean by saying that I’m “good”. I don’t want to be in anybody’s fucking good list. I just don’t want to.
In case if you think; ‘what the heck’? It’s just an act of purification my dear reader. I’ll be fine soon by tonight or tomorrow morning. But I’ve to go through this, and as I key in I feel a lot better.
