Tom’s Laws in Arun’s Life

You come to know about something, you think about it and within no time it happens to you. It happened to me the other day.

For Pooja holidays I had to leave Mangalore for Bangalore to meet friends. I left Mangalore on the eve of 7th . As usual, I spent some time reading blogs during the ‘off peak hours’ at office and from the comment section of a ‘regular’ I bumped on to another one who calls himself a ‘misplaced moron’. He had two laws to his credit, the original and the modified versions.

Here goes Tom’s Law(s): 1 There’ll be at least one good chick to board the train/plane/bus along with you, but chances are they won’t be seated next to you.
-- My Law a.k.a Tom's Law (copyright protected)

2 If My Law doesn’t act on you initially, it’s going to come back in a much virulent form.
-- Modified My Law

The bus was scheduled to leave at 8. As I boarded in I could see one girl sitting on seat number 17, that’s the aisle. Mine was a window seat, number 18. She was busy talking over the phone and made way for me to my seat. Phew! Tom’s Law. I’m above the law. I glanced at her. ‘North East’, roared the features. Spectacles were of the latest trend, T and jeans, and it was rolled over a little beneath the knee. I found her sandals in the net pouch attached to the back of the front seat. I made some effort to get some cool wind and slid the window glass a bit. I also helped the woman in the front seat to do that. I sipped some water and placed the bottle at the space provided for it. Settled as in S-E-T-T-L-E-D, I put myself at ease. Now, it’s me and there’s no such thing as me starting a conversation. She was still on the phone, taking various postures within the confined space as the conversation progressed. (She had her feet already on the seat. Oh God! Doesn’t it rhyme?) Now, as I’d made myself comfortable I wanted to pop a ‘happy dent’ and chew on it waiting for the girl to exchange pleasantries, phone numbers, email IDs and what not. But I didn’t as I thought I would’ve had to share one with her. Nopes, I was not being mean, I was just uncomfortable to do that. It was nice to have a girl next seat and I was extremely careful not even an accidental brush ruins the possibilities of ‘an ever-lasting rapport’. I kept my elbow away from the hand rest as there was just one between the seats and let her keep hers on it. Then I closed my eyes and with some effort ushered in an expression to my face (you know, these bloody facial muscles refuse to move even a tiny bit especially when they know that I need their support and cooperation so badly) that would’ve made any girl believe that I’m chivalry personified. The bus was still stationary as it was not 8 yet. The girl had stopped talking a while ago and I found her on the adjacent seat murmuring with another girl. After a while I heard a sweet voice, “excuse me”, yeah, it was directed to me. Oh boy, oh boy! “yeah”, I raised my eyebrows looking at her, and what I meant with that gesture was “yeah, I’m ready”. “Could you please do me a favour”? Haa, why did you ask me that? The sole purpose of my existence is to do you favours. I made myself more attentive. Then she blurted out the favour she wanted me to do. “Could you please exchange your seat with her?” she pointed out to a girl on the adjacent row. “Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent,” three cheers to Friedrich Nietzsche. “Is it a window seat”? I enquired. “Yeah”, “okay”, I moved out towards the direction and made her handed over me my bag and she let out a “thank you” and for that my gesture was that of some one who’s going to be a martyr despite his non-willingness. Tom, you deserve a golden salute my buddy, if ever I underestimate you with my lack of experience, let me shed a few drops of tears in absolute repentance. Don’t let your interest take a back seat my dear reader; come along with me, the worst is yet to be. This girl I exchanged seat with was just pure gem, so cute and innocent she looked that I wished if she had existed in a world where nothing but flowers and butterflies give her company. It doesn’t take the whole journey for her to prove otherwise.

I still watched them through the corner of my eyes with a solemn expression on my face. They were not friends, it was pretty visible as both of them were busy in their own worlds. ( Read glued to their mobiles). Then why, why the heck she made me exchange the seat? There were a couple of conclusions I reached, but before that let me disclose a secret. I look like a moron, though things are at their respective places, the proportion, surface etc are terrible. Now I’ve more space on my face, more precisely, my forehead is a rapidly expanding territory, thanks to the thinning hairline. And worst of all I’d sported a beard and moustache which were untrimmed, well at least for the last one month. She might’ve found me as a potential molester, that’s conclusion number1, and the 2nd is she might’ve felt my presence quite uncomfortable since she was talking and wanted to talk to her boyfriend through out the night. I love to believe the second since it’s more soothing.

Now about the other girl, she had been busy with her phone, she was getting calls even at 1, 2, 3 and even 4. This irked a fellow passenger, an elderly man and he walked up and down the aisle to find who was the one who disturbs his sleep. At last she found her, told her to switch it off, and then there was a tiff. He told her that one should’ve the “commonsense” to switch off such gadgets while being in public carriages especially at such unearthly hours. She started from the word “commonsense” and retorted that “it’s applicable to you too”, a remark about his asking curtly to switch it off, she also justified the constant ringing of the device as a ‘necessity’, I didn’t buy that. Who are the ones who give you calls at 2, 3 and 4 in the morning? And the worst part was she didn’t attend any of them, she just allowed the mobile to ring for alarmingly longer time. After the person went to his seat she again started to check it and there was enough light to disturb sleep and again he stood up and protested which she reacted by keeping the light of it uncovered for a long time. No angel she was. Considering that the elderly gentleman was sitting just behind me, by exchanging the seat I’d, in fact did her a favour, otherwise she would’ve been strangled. Quite unaware of all these, the other girl, who dethroned me so mercilessly, was sleeping, wrapped herself in a blanket, her face was visible though. Whenever I glanced at her I felt a mounting joy, you know why. She looked so…ughh, it was not at all pleasant to see her sleeping. She looked so damn… “Silence, silence…”excuse me, I heard someone shouting “sour grapes, sour grapes” there.

Tom, I wish, I pray that your laws find its way to “Murphy’s Law”. I thank you all who took the pain reading it full despite it being not-so-finely written. It was a great topic, but due to the lack of time and skills I might’ve made it a terrible mess. Thank you.

Tom’s Page: http://toms-almanac.blogspot.com/