Don’t run

Ahem! Everyone please lend me thy…. I‘m gonna preach. Please, normally I don’t indulge in this kind of stuff. But now, I feel that my two penny advice will make you wise, yup really.

Don’t run. Hey, no, you philistine don’t take things literally. I mean don’t run away from things. It won’t do any good. You can’t escape by running away. I’ve just realized that this morning and I just can’t wait any further to share it with you my brethren! Noble soul am I huh?

I make a living by writing advertising. A Couple of months back I left Kerala and landed up in the neighbouring state. Ask me why you passive, indifferent … (am I turning abusive? Nopes, not deliberately) OK I’ll tell. I left Kerala in fear of Onam. Yup, that’s our most spectacular festival and we all go for a shopping spree during the period. “Maveli nadu vaneedum kalam manusharellarumonnu pole…” forgive me, I might’ve scared you singing the paean in my harsh (actually friends say I sound like a metal crusher, but I’m sure that they are all bloody liars. In fact, in the morning I sound like Amithabh Bachan , but gargling spoils it all ) voice. See, this is the problem. I always beat around the bush. But I know it’s always better coming to the point as soon as possible except in love making.

Every jeweller and every textile showroom owner in Kerala believe that Onam season is the ideal time to advertise. (Indeed, it’s not baseless) And if you have at least a vague idea of Advertising in Kerala, it goes without saying that for a large number of agencies the clientele belong to this category. The ones I worked for were no different. In short, during Onam copywriters will be busy connecting the spirit of Mahabali (The demon king who was booted to the abyss and on whose behalf Onam is being celebrated) and Onam with the client’s need and their art partners placing a number of pictures in the lay out. It goes like this 1 Floral Pattern 2 A Potbellied Mahabali (In fact almost all the demon kings and soldiers I encountered in the comics I read growing up had chiseled to perfection physiques and the pot belly of beloved Mahabali remains a mystery to me) with an umbrella made of palm fronds. 3 Snake boat and sometimes women in traditional Kerala saree (Malayali Manka). You can omit some of these on the basis of the size of the lay out, but if you don’t incorporate any of these in the ad, man that’s blasphemy!
And by the time Onam is over everyone goes back to their business, but not me. I would make ‘floral’ patterns in the rice. I would cut the papad in the shape of Mahabali before putting it into the boiled oil and would even think of getting a blanket which has ‘Snake boat race’ printed on it. In short I would become damn obsessed and to escape lunacy I came here. (Ha! I’ve just been called by the ECD to enquire whether I’m willing to go to the Cochin branch as they have loads of work since Onam is round the corner!). And brethren, is there any point in stretching it anymore? I was provoked into writing this when an Account Executive asked me to work on Onam Ads for a bank. But now the ‘unthinkable’ has happened. You can’t escape your destiny my beloved brethren. Alas!